Curses
by The Goblet
Summary: Severus helps Bill recover from an accident at work. COMPLETE


**CURSES  
by The Goblet**

**Fandom:**Harry Potter  
**Rating:**PG-13  
**Status:**Complete  
**Parts:**1  
**Categories:**Dialogue Only, Fluff, Humor, Kinky, Post-War, Smut  
**Characters:**Bill Weasley, Molly Weasley, Severus Snape  
**Warnings:**Slash  
**Spoilers:**OotP

**Summary:**  
Severus helps Bill recover from an accident at work.

**Author'sNotes:**  
Each new line represents a different person speaking.

May 2005

**Dedication:**  
For Kai.

**Beta:**  
Many, many thanks to Tall Oaks, Azriona, Mermaid3290, Sansa and Tricia for plot and readability suggestions, general feedback and correcting my grammar.

**Disclaimer:**  
This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

* * *

"What is troubling you, Weasley?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yes."

"Nothing is wrong?"

"**Nothing** is wrong, **Snape**."

"You just snapped at me."

"I did not just snap at you."

"I beg to differ."

… silence …

"What's the matter?"

"**NOTHING!**"

"You haven't been to work."

"So?"

"Your friends are worried about you."

"So?"

"I am worried about you."

"Your point being?"

"I want to help you."

"You want to help **me**?"

"Does it so astonish you that I care about you; that I would want to help you?"

… silence …

"Listen to me, young man, I did not come all the way from England to this fly infested country solely to nurse **you** back from the brink of death so that you could wallow in self-pity."

"I am not wallowing in self-pity."

"Really?"

"Really. And for your information, Severus, I don't recall ever asking you to come and act as my nursemaid."

"No, you invited me out here because your mother was commenting that I needed a **holiday**."

"So go on. Do holiday-type activities. Ride a camel. Visit the Pyramids."

"What fun would that be by myself?"

… silence …

"You haven't set foot outside your front door since your accident."

"So?"

"So, I believe you may be suffering from a psychological disorder."

"Hmmmph. This coming from the man who is dressed entirely in black and wearing his winter cloak IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESERT AT THE HEIGHT OF SUMMER."

"Only because I detest wearing the garb you insist is so 'traditional'."

"You mean that you detest the idea of wearing my clothes."

"Don't change the subject!"

"I wasn't changing the subject!"

"Why won't you go outside?"

… silence …

"Tell me."

"No."

"**Tell me**."

"I can't."

"You can't?"

"Is there something wrong with your hearing?"

"Of course not! **Why** can't you go outside?"

"… Because you are my guest, and it would be impolite of me to leave you alone in a strange country where you do not know the customs."

"Weasley."

"_Weasley_."

"Do not mock me, young man. Are you scared of getting hurt again?"

"No."

"**Bill**."

"Maybe."

"Tell me about it."

"I… I'm… I'm scared of failing again. I'm scared I might kill someone next time."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was, I was the Cursebreaker, I should have broken the curse."

"Bill, look at me. **Look at me.** How were you supposed to know that the apprentice had modified the curse while you were otherwise occupied?"

"I should have **known**."

"It was perfectly reasonable for you to expect that the curse would be in the same condition as you left it while you used the lavatory. After all, it had not altered since you began work on the tomb in January."

"I should have checked."

"Look at me."

"_What_?"

"It. Wasn't. Your. Fault."

… silence …

"The apprentice has been transferred back to London. Why won't you go back?"

"I told you already."

"That you are scared?"

"Yeah. I'm scared another half ton of rock will bury my team."

"You're a competent Cursebreaker - it was a freak accident."

"I'm a competent Cursebreaker? Are you praising my skills, Severus Snape?"

"Hmmph. There is nothing of which to be scared."

"I know."

"Then don't sound so depressed."

… silence …

"Will you go to work?"

"No."

"Then what will you do?"

"I'll stay here, and entertain you."

"You will?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because the war ended, and you came here to get away from it, and… why are you wearing so many clothes?"

"So that we can have a serious discussion. And you have changed the subject again."

"You dressed yourself in your winter cloak and your teaching robes, so that we could have a serious discussion?"

"Of course – get your hand off my forehead. Leave my person alone."

"Severus! You're burning up!"

"I believe that wearing several layers of clothing will do that to a person."

"Oh, you idiot! At least take this cloak off – OW!"

"Are you injured?"

"No… something stung my hand."

"Would you care for a salve?"

"No, it's all right. I'll keep shaking it: it's getting better… Severus why are you wearing gloves?"

"I do not wish to touch the skin of a man who is too scared to go to work."

"Oh for the love of Merlin, Severus - take off that cloak!"

"If you insist - be my guest."

"OW! Severus, are you wearing a cursed cloak?"

"I believe so."

"Your cloak has been cursed with a Stinging Hex?"

"That is correct."

"Oh – _Finite Incantatem_!"

"Thank you."

"Take it off, you snarky git."

"Better?"

"How many layers of clothing do you have on?"

"Seventeen, not including the cloak."

"SEVENTEEN! You're wearing **seventeen** layers of clothing in the middle of summer? In Egypt!"

"Well… perhaps not seventeen layers… but I **am** wearing seventeen different cursed objects."

"You are **insane**."

"And feeling rather faint, I have to admit."

"Well un-curse yourself!"

"I can't."

"You can't."

"Don't sound so sceptical."

"You cursed yourself into those clothes so you can un-curse yourself out of them. Don't think that I don't know what you are trying to do."

"Do what?"

"Oh don't play all innocent with me!"

"I'm not!"

"Fine! I'm going to have a nice, cool shower. You can get yourself out of that mess on your lonesome."

"I informed you before - I cannot."

"Why not?"

"I've misplaced my wand."

"_Accio_ Snape's wand!"

"STOP!"

"What?"

"I found it."

"Really? Then where is it?"

"Under the seventeenth layer."

"**Under** the seventeenth layer?"

"Is there something wrong with your hearing?"

"What's it doing **under** your clothes?"

"What do you think it's doing!"

"Oh."

"_Oh_."

"Well… you can go and ask one of the other Cursebreakers to help you get out of your predicament."

"And when they break the last curse, what do I tell them? 'Oh just a moment, yes, I was just using my wand as a dildo?'"

… silence …

"Blushing becomes you, Mr Weasley."

"Oh shut up."

"Will you help me?"

"I… can't do it."

"Mr Weasley, I must inform you that I am feeling very faint now."

"You are impossible!"

"At least take off the scarf."

"Fine. A Babbling Curse?"

"I doubt that it would make much difference to you – mmmmmph."

"Mmm… kissing always halts the babbling curse."

"I see."

"Neck better?"

"Much."

"You're still rather warm."

"I'm still wearing quite a lot of clothing."

"Give me your hand. Hmm… a Teeth Engorgement Jinx."

"A particular favourite of Mr Malfoy's."

"And the other."

"Huh?"

"Your other hand - give it to me."

"You aren't going to talk to me now, is that it?"

"Right now, I'm busy trying to remove the Twitchy Ears Hex from your glove, unless, of course, you wish for your ears to wiggle and twitch uncomfortably."

"Ha, ha, ha. Oh, the curses won't affect **me**. They'll affect you."

"You are a complete madman."

"But you love me…"

"Mmmmph… do that thing with your lips again."

"This?"

"Yessss."

"Oh shit!"

… laughter …

"It's not funny, Severus!"

"It is! You have leeks growing out of your ears."

"Only because you distracted me with your kisses. How was I supposed to remember that you had hexed your teaching robes when you were kissing me like that? "

… silence …

"Are you just going to stand there and smirk at me?"

"Un-curse them. I promise you, you will enjoy what is on underneath."

"There. Happy?"

"Definitely, and if you save those leeks, we can have them for dinner tonight."

"You are incorrigible."

"I know."

"Severus! Your frockcoat?"

"I thought you liked my frockcoat."

"I do… just… AAARGH!"

"There's no need for theatrics."

"Says he who is wearing seventeen layers of clothing – Mmmmmmph."

"Remember what's at stake."

"Right… Tickling Charm… remind me to cast one on you when I get you undressed."

"Don't be ridiculous. I would have to be insane to remind you."

"You **are** insane. – OW!"

"Sorry was that your foot?"

"You know very well that it was."

"Then maybe you should take off my shoes and socks."

"Ironic."

"Ironic?"

"Your left shoe has been charmed to force its victim to do a Crazy Dance."

"So?"

"And your left sock has been cursed with the Leg-Locker Curse."

"Is there a point to this?"

"Well, your right shoe has been jinxed with Jelly-legs."

"Bill!"

"Well they're all leg related, aren't they? Well, except for your right sock. This one's been cursed with the Full Body Bind."

"Like this?"

"Severus! Unwrap your legs from around my waist **this instant**."

"Why? Are you feeling frustrated?"

"Of course I'm feeling frustrated!"

"You like it when I do this, though, don't you?"

"Mmmmm."

"And this?"

"Mmmmm."

"What about taking off my vest?"

… laughter …

"What's so funny?"

"The Bat-Bogey Hex!"

"So?"

"You've been hanging around my sister far too much."

"Ahh, but you never saw her use it first hand on Mr Malfoy. He cried like a baby after she enlarged his bogies to bat size, gave them wings and set them to attacking his face. The little git was blubbering away in my office with fluttering bogies entangled in his hair."

"I'm sorry I missed it."

… laughter …

"Hang on a minute – did you just pay my sister a **compliment**?"

"It must be the heat."

"This coming from a man wearing a **tie**."

"Get on with it, Bill."

"Right, right. Oh, now I **know** you must really like me. You spent time with **Ron**?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"The Slug Curse?"

"What's that got to do with your youngest brother?"

"You don't remember when he tried to curse Malfoy into belching up slugs, only to have his wand backfire?"

"Ah yes, I remember now: Mr Malfoy had called Miss Granger a 'mudblood'."

"Your smile is positively feral, Severus."

"Why thank you, Bill."

"Finally!"

"Finally, what?"

"Something not black!"

"My shirt?"

"Yes, your shirt, you numbskull."

"_Numbskull_?"

"I… I like your chest."

… silence ….

"A lot."

"Well then you had better hurry yourself along."

"Stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop playing with my nipples!"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll – tweet-tweet."

"Fall victim to the Canary Transfiguration Hex?"

… tweeting …

"You look rather dashing… for a giant canary."

"… Just you wait, Severus."

"What, you aren't enjoying unwrapping me, like a giant birthday present?"

"No, actually, I'm quite enjoying this, only…"

"Yes?"

"You… are a GIANT TEASE!"

"Me, a tease?"

"An undershirt!"

"Oh yes. Me - a tease."

"Fine! Ahh, an easy one: Fred and George used to cover themselves with boils all the time."

"Happy?"

"…very…"

"You seem to be enjoying yourself there."

"I am. I told you I loved your chest… and your nipples."

"I can tell you there's another piece of my anatomy that is feeling rather left out at this point in time."

"Really?"

"And truly."

"I wonder where that might be."

"I'll give you a hint."

"Go on."

"My belt will need to go next."

"Nice…"

"Nice?"

"The Insect Jinx. I haven't seen this one in a **long** time. I've actually always wanted to try it out. I think it would be fun to sprout feelers on my head and scuttle along the ground."

"You forget that you will lose the power of speech, and will be **forced** to scuttle."

"I still think it would be fun."

"Lunatic."

"Pot. Kettle. Black."

… silence …

"What devious delights have you cursed your trousers with? Ah! Another leg curse."

"I thought you would enjoy the theme."

"Indeed, the Knee-Reversing Hex is quite useful if you are stuck on the Tube."

"The Tube?"

"In London. The Underground?"

"Oh, the **Tube**."

"I love your legs."

"I love **your** legs."

"I love your legs more. I love how they wrap themselves around my waist just so."

"Like this?"

"Yeah."

"Only one more piece."

"Relieved?"

"Yes, I thought you might have been wearing thermal underwear."

"I think I would have died from heat exhaustion if I did."

"It would serve you right – Mmmmmph"

"Shut up and take off my pants."

"Are these the boxers I gave you for Christmas?"

"Yes."

"I thought you declared you would never wear Gryffindor red underwear."

"Today is a special occasion."

"So you admit to having planned this entire thing?"

"Of course. Was there any doubt in your mind?"

"No… Did you really have to use the Conjunctivitis Curse on your underwear?"

"You have a problem with that?"

"Only that I could have been blinded if I'd set it off – "

… clattering sound …

"BLOODY HELL!"

"Ahh, I see you have found my wand."

"Your wand? Oh your **wand**. How you managed to dress yourself in cursed clothes without your wand is beyond me. Here take it…"

"Thank you. Now, what were you speaking about earlier? It obviously wasn't my wand."

"Oh, I believe it was."

"You like?"

"Severus Snape, why, on earth, are you wearing a ring!"

"Because I think of you, and I want to… _you know_."

"… but you hate bondage."

"Oh, I'm not going to make a habit of it. Just take the bloody thing off."

… growling …

"Careful of my equipment."

"Oh believe me, Severus, I'm being careful."

"Promise?"

"I promise. I have a very vested interest in this."

"Good."

… clanking sounds…

"I see you've left the best till last, Severus."

"I have."

"The Entrail-Expelling Curse… **very** advanced."

"Thank you."

"There you go – Mmmmmmph."

"Here… you can keep the ring."

"Er – thank-you. Hey it shrunk!"

"I know. Read the inscription."

"What inscription?"

"The one on the inside of the ring, you dunderhead."

"I am not a dunderhead."

"Just read the inscription!"

"Will you marry me?"

… silence …

"S-S-Severus… are you p-p-proposing?"

"Yes."

"You want to marry me?"

"I would have thought that was obvious."

"Wow…"

"Well?"

"Huh?"

"**Will you marry me?**"

"Of course I will marry yo– Mmmmmph."

… love-making sounds …

"So, Bill… Are you going to work tomorrow?"

"No."

"No? I really think you should."

"Why should I? I have my own personal, cursed fiancé right here, in my arms."

"Oh Merlin."

"You brought this upon yourself, you know."

"Hmmph."

"Ingenious really, the way you set all that up."

"Thank you."

"And you had me thinking that your wand was… you know – when all the time you had merely tucked it into your underwear."

"I was only trying to help you."

"I know… and, seriously, I think it worked."

"Do you think that you may be over your fear?"

"I hope so."

"Then perhaps you should thank me."

"Thank you?"

"Yes, properly - with a kiss."

"Like this…"

_"Bill? Bill?"_

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what? I don't hear anything."

… rustling noises …

_"Bill Weasley, do **not** hide from me. Didn't you think that I would care that you were hurt? You think that I would let you stay here, by yourself, while you were recuperating? OH SWEET MERLIN!"_

"**Molly!**"

"**MUM!**"

The End.

* * *

Feedback very welcome! 


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